Sunday, October 31, 2010

Yes, I DO have other issues, and NO, I'm not in rehab.

As you continue to read this blog (God willing), it may come to your attention that I am entirely dependent on many, many substances, and am severely addicted to multiple serious conditions. (Such as ranting).

And now, I feel I must let the world know the truth of my grave relationship with a certain substance, namely Coke. I know. I know what you are all thinking. "Clare?? A drug addict? But she seems so NORMAL!"
Well. All I have to say is that if you genuinely think I'm normal, then you don't know me well enough. But that's a side-point.

I am NOT addicted to any drug. (Except for maybe Ibuprofen. I get a lot of headaches). My worshipped substance's full name is Coca-Cola. Yes. It is true. I am addicted to soda.

Do not laugh, dear reader! Do not cry "HA!" (Actually, do. It's lots of fun. Sometimes when I'm stressed, I just randomly yell "HA!" at the top of my lungs, and I feel much better. Anyway...)
NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH! It's quite sad, really. Last semester I only had one job, and was making $28 dollars a week. Well, despite the fact that I was trying to save for a car, and had to buy day-to-day things like shampoo and toothpaste, then I would generally spent at least a third of that money on soda. I KID YOU NOT. And you know what I'd do??? I'd buy those 200 pound packages of who knows how many cans of Dr. Pepper, and drink them all WITHIN 3 DAYS!!!!!!! Seriously!!!! And when I ran out, and I was shaking in the corner at 3 AM from soda withdrawal, I would stagger around the dorm building, begging change from poor unsuspecting fellow students, and them jelly-leg my way down to the soda machine to buy a ridiculously overpriced coke.

So. Yea. The whole point of this was to mention that I now have no Coke. And I am SUFFERING FOR IT!!!! Name brand Coke is hard to find in Italy, and the other stuff is GROSS. Revolting, I tell you. So I'll have to take a long and dangerous journey over to the farthest grocery store in the neighborhood, just to buy MORE outrageously overpriced Coke.

*sigh* I think I'm worse off than Lindsay Lohan.

Anyone know of a good Rehabilitation Center?

2 comments:

  1. HA I SAW THE COKE THING COMING

    and we might be able to ship some over for you, like how I used to do with my soldiers. Though by the time it got there, you'll probably already be home for Thanksgiving.

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  2. HAHA! That would be SO AWESOME! >_<

    I just saw this comment now; the website doesn't let me know when people comment. -_-

    I actually bought 12 cans of coke the other day. (I made the perilous journey). And I only have 3 left -- AAAH!

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